Andy: Leslie, I don’t know if this is important or not, but I have heard a lot of very, very interesting chatter around the shoeshine stand today.
Leslie: Oh my God, really? What have you heard?
Andy: A lot of things. Uh, like, Can you believe it? and The Parks lady boned Dexhart and Of course she did, she’s totally good to go. And one guy was like I wouldn’t hit that and the other guy was like Me neither but this third guy was like I would. So… I don’t know if that’s helpful at all.
Parks and Recreation - 2x12 - Christmas Scandal
April: Hey, why don’t you sell your band’s CDs here?
Andy: That is a brilliant idea. I cannot believe I didn’t think of that. I have been writing a lot of songs about shining shoes lately. I tend to write about what I’m doing. [Singing] ♪ Talkin’ ‘bout, writing about what I’m doin’. Now I’m singin’ about talkin’ about writing about what I’m doin’. ♪
Parks and Recreation - 2x13 - The Set Up
Andy Dwyer: shoeshinist, and dream weaver. …And friend. And lover. And lead vocals. And former collegiate-level athlete. And #1 Colts fan. And I make good chili.
Parks and Recreation - 2x17 - Woman of the Year (Deleted Scene)
Andy: Hey, have you seen April around? She usually comes by at the end of the day.
Ron: You might want to check her house. She quit on me.
Andy: What? Why?
Ron: She screwed up my entire life today.
Andy: That was one mistake. She’s perfect for you! Come on, there’s no one in the world that’s gonna do a better job for you than April. Either you hire her back or I quit.
Ron: You don’t work for me.
Andy: And I never will, sir. Good day.
*continues shining Ron’s shoes*
Parks and Recreation - 2x21 - 94 Meetings
April: Andy recently diagnosed himself with what he calls “Shoeshine Head”. It’s when you shine too many shoes and the fumes create a thunderstorm in your brain. Cures include coffee, cheeseburgers, and napping on the floor.
Parks and Recreation - 2x18 - The Possum
Andy: Do you have a key in your shoe?
Ron: No, no, I have a bunion that’s practically its own toe. Normally the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors, but these past three minutes, it’s been reduced to a faint growl.
Parks and Recreation - 2x09 - The Camel
(via deadgrotty, again. Damn, dude, you have the best Parks and Rec stuff on Tumblr.)